We’ve been avoiding dealing with the wedding stuff. It’s been easy, we’ve had plenty to distract us. The real reason for the avoidance: the dreaded guest list.

Here’s what we have figured out so far for the wedding:

  • The Time: the evening of Saturday, May 15, 2010
  • The Place: Our house

Venues in SF are stupid-expensive, we quickly learned, and hey, didn’t we just BUY A BUILDING IN SF? Our house holds way more meaning for us than some rental space we’re not likely to step foot in again, and doesn’t come with time limits or restricted catering choices. The critical next step, which needs to happen about a month ago, is getting invitations out.

Which brings us to that guest list trouble. There are two immediate problems: 1) we don’t have any idea how many people our house can hold, and 2) we know it’s not nearly big enough to hold everyone we want to invite. By a long shot. Spreadsheets have been employed, with elaborate flags and tallies and round after round after round of ever-more painful cuts.


Thankfully, we have a lot of understanding on both sides of the family. I’ve heard plenty of horror stories from friends about pressure to add distant second cousins only met once, or parents’ business associates, or vague “family friends” no one seems to actually know. We know we have it easy, overall. It’s still really rough. We just have to man up, get over it, and remember we’re not throwing a dinner party. Just because we don’t have room for someone doesn’t mean we don’t adore them, and I think everyone will totally get it (especially those who have been through this before themselves).

But man, this is rough business.

2 Responses to “Ow, My Guest List! It HUUUURRRRTS!”

  1. Anu says:

    Due to something like the Law of Kevin Bacon there are some big “break points”. So depending on the level of friend/family you invite, your list numbers go something like 2, 4, 30, 100, 150, 300.

    Don’t agonize about it. As long as you end up hitched, it’s all good!

  2. Michelle, don’t worry about sending me an invite, I got the address from the tax records and I’ll be there with bells on!